Sex Life Going to the Dogs?

Dear Sarah,
Help, my sex life is being thwarted by a 65 lb. Labrador! I'm in a new relationship with great chemistry. However, now that we've started having overnights, I've learned that my girlfriend sleeps with her dog. This creates both a space issue (she has a queen bed, but he's a big dog) and an "ick" factor (I don't like the idea of laying on dog hair). She has had the dog for 6 years, and he has slept with her since he was a puppy. She is very attached to him and treats him like her child. I've mentioned the issue in a lighthearted way, but now I'm finding myself avoiding invitations to stay at her house. Is there a way to tactfully handle this without hurting her feelings? I love dogs, just not on the furniture...

RB

Dear RB,
I'm curious to know the nature of your "lighthearted" conversations. Did you let your girlfriend know directly this is creating a problem for you? You have several choices; however, changing your girlfriend's priorities isn't one of them. Is this issue a deal-breaker for you? If so, it's best to declare that now rather than becoming frustrated later because she is not changing. Are there any compromises that would truly be acceptable to both of you, no resentments generated? Sounds like it is time for some self-assessment, and then a more frank discussion. Check in with yourself to ensure this is truly about taking care of you and not about some need to control her behavior. This topic is worth exploring, but not worth a power struggle. It's important to note that neither of you is wrong for having the feelings you do; you're just different from one another. Make sure you reiterate this when you're talking to her, and perhaps the topic won't become polarizing. Great chemistry can overcome many relationship obstacles!