Lost

Dear Sarah,
I have had a casual sexual relationship with a guy down the street for the past 3 months.  Using protection has always been a high priority for both of us.  A few days after we had sex last time, I discovered a condom had been left inside me.  This has created a whole host of questions.  Could I be pregnant and/or have an STD?  Do I have a right to be angry about this?  Because I find myself wanting to rip him a new one. Whose responsibility was it to make sure the condom didn't get left behind?  Should I acknowledge any of this to him, and if so, how?

Pissed Off in Pittsburg

Dear Pittsburg,
Your fears and concerns are valid.  A good first step is to schedule an appointment with your health care provider for pregnancy and STD tests in order to put your mind at ease.  As for your "right" to be angry, anger is just a feeling.  Anyone has a right to feel whatever emotions are coming up at any given time.  How you behave around that anger is a different matter, so ripping him a new one isn't an option.  The responsibility for ensuring the condom isn't still inside belongs to both of you.  Stay aware and make sure whatever goes in also comes out.  There are some advantages to discussing this with him.  First of all, it opens the lines of communication, which can better your sex life should you continue to engage with him.  Second, it allows him to gain awareness about what happened so he can prevent this from occurring in future sexual encounters.

If you have a question for the sex therapist, email sarah@sarahkyle.com